Closing the Generation Gap

Call me cautious, but when my 80+ year old Mom wanted to take the boys out on her own, I was strapping them into their harnesses in a jiffy. 

And if she had been 60, I'd have done the same. My oldest was a temperamental little guy and all sorts of mundane and normal things could set him off. If he decided he was going "this way", forces of nature could not change his mind.

The point is, with the boys on their harnesses, they could go for walks with Nana, go over to the park, go shopping and basically be out of my hair and I could relax knowing that Mom wouldn't have to chase them down if any "episodes" occurred. (Please don't spend any time imagining an 80 year old woman running after a 2 1/2 year old...)

Thanks entirely to their harnesses, my boys were able to spend quality time alone with their Nana.

An increasing proportion of my customers are grandparents who are the child's main caregiver during the day while Mommy is at work. These grandparents, being a rather clever bunch, realize their sprinting days are over and conclude that using a harness with their grandchild is a simple solution to problems that may arise when venturing outside.

They are closing the generation gap with a Child Harness that keeps their loved one, who is already close to their heart, close to their side.

Choose your Lead Length, Choose your Freedom

Among the many advantages to making my own Child Harnesses and Child-to-Adult Harnesses is I can usually bend to the whims of my customers.  

And my clever customers know enough to ask.

A few years ago I had a Mom ask for a 9 foot lead for her Child Harness.

Why not! It had never occurred to me to offer leads of different lengths. But where she was going, there would be plenty of space for her little one to roam and More Freedom for him would be ideal if I could only provide a 9 foot lead....

After that, I changed my order forms to give customers the option to order whatever lead length they wanted.

And the requests have been many. I particularly loved the Smart Mommy who ordered a 15 foot lead to use at the beach. She'd be able to watch her son and read while he played in the sand but stayed safely out of the water. Lots of my customers who are going on a cruise usually order a 7 foot lead to use with their Child Harness. I've had schools order 10 foot leads for their Child-to-Adult Harness so the child could safely play on the outdoor equipment but not bolt from the school property.

I love my business for many reasons but it's particularly rewarding when my customers come up with ideas and suggestions that make my (fantastic!?) product even better for Customers Yet To Come.

The Evolution of my little harness business. Who knew?

Introducing your toddler to their new Child Harness

Typically, parents who order a Child Harness from me do so because they have a toddler on their hands who wants nothing to do with the stroller. Why ride when you can run around and best of all, away from Mommy?

These toddlers have been Free Range Children for the most part but now Mom and Dad are having a more difficult time keeping tabs on them and a harness becomes a must. There may even have been a few incidents in public where an actual and heart-stopping separation has occurred between Mommy and said Toddler before a Happy Reunion sees said Toddler firmly anchored back into the dreaded stroller.  

So what happens when these little people suddenly have to wear a harness?

You'd be surprised.

First of all, after a short trial period which usually takes place in the livingroom after dinner, the toddler has adjusted to wearing the harness and has accepted it fully.

What? 

You got it. Sorry I don't have anything more dramatic to relate.

But if you think about it, it makes sense. Toddlers WANT TO WALK (see my earlier post, The Importance of Walking) and chances are good that they haven't been able to do much walking for the past little while. Why? Because they're quick on those little feet and it's very tricky keeping an eye on them so they've been forced to ride ride ride.

But hey! What's this! A comfortable little strap to wear and I can do all the walking I want! For them, that's all they care about. They have regained their freedom, they have regained control over when they walk and when they don't, they have their Get Out Of Stroller ticket and it's fantastic. They've become a Free Range Child again and it's thrilling.

And it's rather thrilling for Mommy too.

"My Child is a Runner"

To say that I hear this phrase a lot would be an understatement.

I don't hear it with every order but when I do hear it, believe me, there's an order for a Child-to-Adult Harness in the same breath.

Many MANY parents have told me their child is "a runner". Sometimes I hear "he's always been a runner" and sometimes I hear "she never used to be a runner but she sure is now".

As with all things children, there is variability. But whatever the circumstance, it seems that having a Child-to-Adult Harness in your arsenal is a good idea when caring for a child who is likely to take off in the blink of an eye. They will still take off, but only to the end of the lead.

Being "a runner" is a period of behaviour that will last as long as it takes your child to overcome and control their urge for flight. It may last for years. As you and your support team work with your child, you may need leads of different lengths for their harness. Some parents order my standard lead (5 feet 8 inches) to use every day as well as an 18 inch lead to use during therapy sessions when the child is being taught to walk beside their caregiver.

"This too shall pass" as they say, but in the meantime, your child in a Child-to-Adult Harness will at least mean they won't be miles ahead of you.

Housebound with your child? Consider getting them a harness!

My customers have wonderful and important things to say, sometimes shocking, always moving. But one thing I hear consistently is that my customers are housebound with their child and will remain that way until they receive their harness from me. Some parents have not been able to take their child on an outing for literally years. 

Think about what that means for the child and for the parent. For the sake of a harness, they have not been able to take their child for a walk, go to the park, go shopping, do their errands with the child, NOTHING!!! They find me on the internet, they order a Child-to-Adult Harness and their world changes completely. Even today, one Mom told me "I am excited because I hardly take my son anywhere. Because he doesn't stay seated and runs away this will be such a blessing Thank you Elaine". When she receives her harness, her world will change for her and her son and she knows it.

A few years ago a lady called me from New York. She had seen a woman using one of my harnesses and she ran after her to ask where she got it, hence the phone call to me. She told me she could only leave the house with her 12 yr old son if she had her 2 sisters and her Mom to help. Four adults were need to watch her son if she was to take him out in public. But with my harness, she'd be able to take him out on her own. 

In many ways this blog is no more than a literary path between you the reader, and my customers who tell me things. I'm just the messenger passing along their comments and experiences, paraphrasing here and there and keeping it relevant. 

Remember, don't shoot the messenger but if you are housebound with your child, you just might want to consider getting them one of my harnesses.

Do you have an Animal Backpack Harness?

Do you use an animal backpack harness with your toddler? If so, do yourself a favour RIGHT NOW. Go get it and check it over.

Have a look at the stitching where the arms attach to the body and where the buckle does up in the front.

Inspect the back where the tail is attached.

Have a look at the plastic snap hook on the lead and the d-ring attachment on the body.

Everything ok? Any rips or tears? No? GREAT! Put it away and rest easy.

See any loose threads? Seams coming apart? Then get that needle and thread out RIGHT NOW and do some mending. You owe it to yourself and your child.

You see, I've never personally used an animal backpack harness. I know it's a popular seller and I'm sure that for 95% of people out there, it's a great harness that does the job perfectly. But it feels like the remaining 5% have become customers of mine specifically to replace an animal backpack harness. One Dad told me he was tired of him and his wife sewing it back together. Another told me it lasted "about an hour" on his 2 year old. I had a guy call me from Arizona with a rush order to replace an animal backpack harness because the plastic snap hook broke when his son was going down some metal steps. His 3 year old went face first down the stairs and was "a real mess with blood everywhere" by the time he hit the bottom. (They paid $59 in overnight shipping to get my harness the next day.) Now I've just had ANOTHER customer tell me the plastic snap hook broke on their son's animal backpack harness and they were very much looking forward to getting mine. 

All I'm saying is if you have one, check it over.

I had a leather harness for my son and I never DREAMED that he'd end up breaking it at the tender age of 2 1/2. I never checked the harness, it never occurred to me that I should. It was leather for heaven's sake, I should have been able to trust it. But the lead came apart in my hands just as we were heading out the door. I still shudder to think what would have happened if it had come apart when we were on the street and he was doing is usual tugging.

I don't want to come across like I'm saying anything bad about the animal backpack harnesses. That's not my intention at all and that's not the message I want to send. But I've had SOOO many customers replacing one that I almost feel obliged to tell you that and to share some of their stories. 

You're using a harness with your child and for that I'm Cheering You On big time. Just do yourself a favour and make sure it's still in good condition!!

The 'Hug Factor' in my Child-to-Adult Harness

You know when you hold the door for someone or say "Good morning" when you pass them on the sidewalk? Your simple gesture of kindness, something that you do all the time, may have just had a big impact on that strangers' day.

You start out doing one thing and all sorts of unexpected rewards jump out from nowhere for someone else.

That's the way I feel about my Child-to-Adult Harness. I love the design and I know it's comfortable to wear and I know it's incredibly effective in keeping people much stronger than me safe. Heck, my customers with autism and ADHD wear their harness every day all day year in year out. What more endorsement do I need?

Well the lovely thing that is happening is the completely unexpected "rewards" that my customers are getting from their harness, benefits that I didn't see coming and either did they.

Take for example the man who ordered my Child-to-Adult Harness for his brother who is living in an assisted facility. In true brotherly fashion, he wore the harness himself for a number of days before even showing it to his brother. By the way, this made perfect sense to me because I would have done exactly the same for my sister. He was great with his emails and he always kept me updated with reports about how it was going with the harness. He ended up really enjoying wearing it because he said it was so comfortable and made him feel like he was being hugged all the time. 

How could either of us seen that one coming? 

I have had a number of customers tell me their child would bring their harness to them to have it put on, even if they weren't going out. I've heard this so many times but I really didn't know what to make of it until now. It's the Hug Factor! And given the way I know God has created and directed my business, I think it's incredibly fantastic that He's literally hugging His beautiful children this way.

A Peck of Dirt

When we were growing up, we almost never got to stay home from school. There had to be vomit, spots or a temperature over 102F. If one of our friends had the measles, all the Moms were on the phone to each other making arrangements to send their kids over to the sick kids' house to play. Same with chicken pox.

Summertime was spent in bare feet. Oh the joy on the last day of school when the shoes came off for good! Once our soles toughened up, no gravel road could slow us down. Grass, sand, dirt, stones and wonderful mud. All underfoot, all summer long. Feet as black as pitch by September and all the scrubbing in the tub before the first day of school was a ritual that always marked the end of summer.  

In those days there wasn't the obsession with cleanliness that seems to be everywhere today. Lysol spray and handiwipes and disinfectants and sterilizing toys once a week and NEVER eating anything that fell on the floor God forbid. Mom always said we needed our peck of dirt and that was definitely our thought too.

When I designed my own Child Harness, it had to have a long lead so my boys could have all the room they needed to explore the ground beneath their feet. I wanted them to be able to get close to the earth and follow the bugs with their fingers, make patterns in the dirt and pile up the sand at the park. They had to have the freedom to walk a distance away from me and crunch through the fall leaves at the side of the road. Their harnesses kept them with me while they explored our world and acquired their own peck of dirt along the way.

The Importance of Walking

Sometimes re-stating the obvious is a good idea. We all know that walking is an easy and effective form of exercise but how many of us are denying ourselves AND OUR CHILDREN of this simple pleasure? How many of us leave the kids at home and drive around doing our errands because it's easier and faster? And if we take them with us, how many of us CARRY our child to the car, then when we get to where we're going, lock, strap and buckle them into a stroller TO RIDE while we march off behind like their Prison Warden?

Let my kid walk? Are you crazy? They're too slow and it's TOO MUCH WORK TO WATCH THEM!

Walking is a critical and essential part of childhood development. Practicing those gross motor skills gives that young brain a workout far greater than any of us adults can match. A 3 year olds' brain is twice as active as an adults (I read this today in a neurologic magazine). When a child learns to walk, it's a brand new skill for them that's exciting and fun and thrilling to practice! How do you react now when you learn something new? How many hours straight did you play Guitar Hero? What about Wii? Remember the first time you rode a bike without anyone holding onto the back? You didn't want to stop. Ever.

When a child graduates from crawling to walking, it's a new skill that they desperately want to practice. And for the sake of their development, they NEED to practice walking. But unfortunately the trend of denying them this important pleasure is evident everywhere.

Having your child on a Child Harness will not help you do your errands any faster. In fact, it's guaranteed to slow you down. But maybe that's a good thing. Go at your child's pace for a change. Absorb the colours and lights and sounds and smells around you just like your child is doing. Let them walk safely beside you, let them burn off that extra energy, let those neurons in their brains fire away, let them practice their new skills of balancing, walking and running.

And when they get tired, you've got their stroller and their favourite blanket right there waiting.  

Are you using your child's clothing as a harness?

We've all seen it.

The Hood Harness. The toddler walking along with the parent holding the hood of their child's jacket with the zipper done up to the top and cutting right across the throat. Usually the parent is bent over because the Hood Harness always has a very short lead.

Or the Sweater Harness. This harness tends to lose it's shape during the first outing.

The Grab the Back of the Shirt Harness has a majical lengthening lead as it sheds buttons in the front.

Believe it or not, child's clothing as a harness remains one of my biggest competitors. But like using your blender to mix cement for the walkway, it's not always a good idea to use whatever's on hand when proper equipment is available.

If you are clinging to a small toddler, their wardrobe is kindly asking you to take a look at my Child Harnesses and if you have a larger toddler or someone with special needs in a death grip, you may want a look at my Child-to-Adult Harnesses. Sweaters and jackets and shirts all over the place are cheering you on.

Thank You Poem

A few weeks ago, a Mom called me to place her order and said she had been reading another Mom's comments about my harnesses in an online forum. When I got off the phone, I was so flattered that some stranger was saying nice things to others about my product and I was so grateful she had taken the time to do so. Praise had found me through a third party and it felt very different from a customer telling me directly how much they appreciated their new harness. It got me thinking about the absolute power of kindness and I was inspired to write:

Oh kind word how far you spread
one to another, our daily bread.
Like long ago at Christmas time
freely given to mankind.
Here today, never gone.
Oh kind word, forever strong.

How I started making Harnesses for Children with Special Needs

It was not my own doing.

I had designed my Child Harness in September 2006 and by October, I was quite happily in the process of setting up my business and selling my new design at trade shows and off my fledgling website. I was a happy stay at home Mom with my new little business and my 2 little toddlers. Office work and the 3 1/2 hour commute was a thing of the past and I was filled with joy at the new direction my life had taken.

That lasted 2 months.

In December (2006) I was at a local trade show when a woman stopped by my booth and asked if I did custom orders. Her friend had a 9 yr old son with autism and she had to tie him on a rope whenever she took him out. I told her of course I would help and gave her my business card to pass along to her friend. She left my booth and I turned into the corner and started to cry. I was so completely and utterly overwhelmed by the thought that something as simple as one of my harnesses could help that Mom and her precious boy. The joy I had felt before was nothing in comparison to what I experienced then. Like standing on the bank of a pond and being fulfilled by the sight, I had seen the ocean and been overwhelmed.  

God has directed my life in so many obvious ways in the past that the examples I could give would keep another blog going for years. And here it was happening again. So you see, it really isn't my own doing that I make harnesses for children with special needs. Sure I operate the sewing machine but it's really God's work in action and I believe in giving credit where credit is due.

What connection does Elaine have with Special Needs?

Since I personally don't have children with special needs, you may be wondering why 50% of my business is helping children with special needs. It's a simple answer really. My sister had Down Syndrome. She was 11 months younger than I and we were as thick as theives right from the get-go. We did everything together and nothing slowed us down. When her wheelchair and oxygen tanks became our constant companions, we took them with us - sometimes with challenging results like the time her chair got stuck in the mud in the forest and we had to "portage" to higher ground. By the time she was 38, her heart had had enough and finally quit completely.

Growing up with an angel as a constant companion undoubtedly influenced my outlook on people and life in general. But I must honestly say I have never thought of anyone with special needs as being too different from anyone else. If they look different on the outside, or if their brains make their body do things beyond their control, they are still just as deserving as the rest of us to feel the sun on their face, the grass along their palms, the ground under their bare feet. They are valuable and cherished members of our communities and if they happen to need a piece of special equipment such as a wheelchair or a harness to be out in our communities, then so what. When I'm 80, I'll be needing a walker!!

A few years ago a family friend asked me if I felt my business was my sister's legacy. I burst into tears and said I certainly feel that way.