Our words are numbered. I make mine count

Each and every one of us will speak a finite number of words in our lifetimes.

We will write a finite number of words.

We all die. And when we die we no longer speak, we no longer write. It's over. Those words could be totaled. It's a finite number.

What if all the words we ever spoke or wrote were sorted and piled up around us when our spirits left our bodies? How big a pile would the Dishonest Words be? How big a pile would the Swear Words be? What about Hurtful Words? What about the piles for Words of Kindness, Encouragement, Sympathy and Understanding?

If I take an inventory at this point in my life, I can tell you I haven't added to the Swear Words pile in a long time. I have my husband to thank for getting me out of that habit. Lately I've been adding heaps to the Kindness and Understanding piles. I'm not a 20-something any more and when I think back to the words I've caste around in my life, I'm ashamed to admit that the Love and Encouragement piles aren't as big as they should be. But I'm working on those and every day they grow to overshadow their more Hurtful Cousins.

In this day and age of anonymous internet, Dishonest Words can be flung around with glee and abandon behind fabricated identities, the owner never imagining that those Dishonest Words carry their DNA and maybe, just maybe, are being added to a pile with their name on it. I read an excellent article a while ago and the author referred to these people as Trolls, intent only on causing harm to others.

I consider myself incredibly fortunate. I haven't met any Trolls on the internet. I have wonderful and amazing customers who care deeply about their children. I love my business and I love helping others. Sure I've had someone here or there take advantage of me, but all of us can say that.

What matters is how we treat others. What we say, what we type, how we say it. Our words are numbered. I'm not going to throw any more of mine on the Hurtful pile.

When to stop using my Child Harness with your child

Over the past 4 years I've had about 2 customers ask me when I stopped using my harnesses with my own boys.

The short answer is; when they were about 5 years old.

My boys had always worn harnesses and they only felt safe when they were wearing them so as they grew they would ask to wear them even though it wasn't necessary. My boys decided when to stop wearing their harnesses and because I trusted their behaviour, I left the decision up to them.

But in reality, there is a transition period that happens between using the harness every day with your child and leaving the harness at home for good.

•  initially, when you first use my Child Harness with your toddler they discover that they can run only as far as the end of the lead. Before they were able to run as far at they wanted (which is why you ordered the harness!!), now there is a limit to their range. But they soon figure out that the harness gives them an immense amount of freedom and control over one aspect of their lives: they decide when they walk or ride and they are no longer strapped into their stroller against their wishes.
•  next, your child will quickly associate the harness with outings. Putting it on is just like putting on their shoes or their jacket. It's part of the routine and they don't question it. The exciting thing is the outing and that's all they care about. For me, this phase lasted until the boys were about 4, 4 1/2.
•  as your child grows and matures, you'll have more confidence in their ability to stay close to you during your outings, especially if those outings are to familiar haunts like the grocery store or the mall during a quiet time of the week. You're not dealing with an unpredictable 2 year old any more but you're also not dealing with someone who listens to you ALL the time. The harness is a good precaution in case there is a disagreement between you and your child and your obstinate 3 1/2 year old decides to take off on you. 
•  as they mature even more, disagreements between you and your child become discussions of reason and compromise. You know their flight risk is close to zero so if they ask not to wear the harness, you agree. But you take it with you "just in case". My Child Harness is not bulky like an animal backpack harness, it bundles into it's own stuff sack so it's easy to tote along.
•  transitioning into the phase of not using the harness at all is a signal to your child that they are mature and trustworthy and you take great pride in their behaviour to act responsibly when you are out together. You'll likely find yourself carrying the harness with you needlessly for months, then decide to leave it at home that one time when disaster strikes. That happened to me and from then on I always carried their harnesses with me, no matter where we were going and no matter how long.

You are the best judge of your child's behaviour. You will know when the harness is no longer necessary. If that happens to coincide with your child's opinion as well, so much the better. But in the meantime, it's a good idea to toss the harness in your bag with your keys when you leave the house. It may seem like this phase lasts forever but before you know it, they'll be asking for those keys.

Financial planning starts with paying yourself regularly

I was working at my desk the other day with the radio on and my jaw almost hit my sewing machine. The interviewer was talking with a financial expert about RRSPs and Tax Free Savings Accounts. The shocker for me was that the TFSAs were introduced in 2009 but it seems like it was yesterday. With the maximum contribution per year at $5,000, your TFSA could be sitting at $15,000 right now. And that's without any financial gains in the interim. The expert quoted one of her clients who had chosen rather well with some stocks and had a current balance of $45,000 in his TFSA. No capital gains on that baby either.

That 3 minute radio interview got me looking pretty closely at my own financial planning and more specifically at my TFSA. Suffice to say it's a far cry from $15,000 but a more honest admission would be that I have put very little effort into taking advantage of the TFSAs. It's been months and months since I've made a contribution.

The thing about the TFSAs is you can hold anything in there. Cash, stocks, bonds, mutual funds, treasury bills, guaranteed investment certificates, you name it. And those investments will grow tax free. Your annual contribution is capped at $5,000 per year so you could open 5 TFSAs at 5 different banks and put $1,000 in each if you wanted but since this would limit your buying power, it doesn't seem like a smart idea.

The thing about saving money is that a lot is better than a little and a little is better than nothing. This last part I'd forgotten. I always have a little but somehow it wouldn't feel worthwhile to actually put that little away someplace separate. That's going to change starting this month.

So as a stranger in your computer and someone you can delete or shut down or Unlike, let me risk asking you some politically incorrect questions about your own financial savings:

• if you're in Canada, have you opened a Tax Free Savings Account for yourself? If not, I urge you to talk to your bank this week and tell them to get the forms ready for you. Tell them you want a trading account. Better to be set up at the beginning in case you want to purchase mutual funds or ishares down the road.
• do you invoice yourself each month? I don't but I'm going to start. It might only be $50 but as I say, a little is better than nothing and nothing is what I'm doing now. Billing yourself a certain amount each month is extremely effective. Yes it's another bill and yes you're going to pay it. It's not optional. Treat it like your phone bill or your internet. It has to be paid to keep you and everyone else in the house happy. 
• are your savings off limits? If you do have some egg money, do you view it truly as savings for your future or do you view it as funds you can access when there's an extra expense? Savings for yourself should be completely and entirely off limits to you and everyone else. No dipping. No withdrawing. When you're 70, you'll be grateful for your vigilence.

The best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago. The second best time to plant a tree is today. Maintaining financial independence as we age is surely what all of us desire and the smart ones among us likely started years ago. But the rest of us will start today.

Dorel car seat recall. Check the model number of your child's car seat.

Today on CBC radio they announced that Dorel Juvenile Group is voluntarily recalling approximately 800,000 child car seats. The harness strap at the base of the seat may not keep it's tension when your child is buckled in.

The seats in question were manufactured between May 1, 2008 and April 30, 2009.

If the name Dorel doesn't sound familiar, it didn't to me either. That's because they sell their seats under different brand names such as Cosco, Eddie Bauer, Safety 1st, Maxi-Cosi and Schwinn.

Here is the link to the CBC article: Dorel recalls 800,000 child car seats

and here is the link to the Dorel Juvenile Group's website: Dorel Juvenile Group Safety Notices

* You DO NOT return your car seat to the retailer.*

If you completed and mailed in the registration card when you purchased your car seat and your model is affected by the recall, you will be notified by mail. But if you didn't register your purchase, slip out to your car right now and write down the model number of your car seat. Then go to the Dorel website to see if your model has been effected. They have developed a fix so it's a matter of making sure that kit is sent to you as soon as possible. They have a link on their site so you can order your repair kit.

Vitamins, Minerals and Supplements. How much is too much?

If you stroll down the isle at the local drug store past all the vitamins, minerals and supplements for sale you'd think there were no nutrients at all in the foods we eat. And whether it's successful marketing on their part or guilt on our part, chances are good that some of those bottles are sitting on our breakfast tables right now. Not only that, but after consuming those pills we have florescent pee for the rest of the day as most of those vitamins pass right through our systems.

Recently I heard a commentary on the radio by a doctor who said that taking a multivitamin probably isn't necessary if you're someone who doesn't have an immuno-compromised condition. But if it makes you feel better (as in The Placebo Effect) then there's no harm in doing so.

Vitamins, minerals and supplements are not cheap, even when you buy them on sale. Chances are good there's between $60 and $80 worth of pills keeping you company each morning when you sit down for breakfast. Are all of them necessary? Are any of them there for the placebo effect only? Are you using any of them as a substitute for real food; "I had my multivitamin so I can eat this bag of chips"?

In the area of health and food, I'll never cut corners. But given the amount of vitamins that pass through my  system unabsorbed when I take these pills, I'm now looking at my collection of bottles with a critical eye.

What will stay?  

Vitamin D, 1000 IUs. Research that was out last year indicated that we need to bump up our intake from previous levels of 250 IUs to maintain strong bones and teeth. And since some of us in these Canadian climes aren't getting that amount of vitamin D naturally from sunlight throughout the year, I'll keep my little white pills.

Glucosamine, 500mg, shellfish free. When I was running 100+km/wk a friend of mine suggested glucosamine to help maintain the integrity of my joints. Even when I was doing higher mileage for extended periods of time, I remained injury free. I can't attribute that definitively to the glucosamine but it's got such a great reputation with the arthritis crowd that I'm hedging my bets it will help me maintain healthy joints as I age.

Calcium Carbonate, 500mg.This will remain for a couple of reasons: osteoporosis is a nasty disease and whatever steps we can take to prevent it's arrival, so much the better. Even if the calcium from this pill is only partially absorbed, a little is better than nothing. Second reason; sources of calcium that I enjoyed so much in the past (yogurt, cheese, ice cream, frozen yogurt) have become migraine triggers so it's much more difficult for me to obtain a good amount of calcium naturally.

What will go?

Multivitamin. I'm not immuno-compromised and I will admit I sometimes use the multivitamin as a crutch. Ok, I'll say it. I don't always eat properly.

B100 Complex Time Release. This was an expensive bottle of pills that I bought as a trial to see if it would make a difference in my energy levels. We don't eat a lot of meat so it makes sense that we could be low in our vitamin B department. But time is up with this time release product because for me personally, it's had no effect.

Our bodies were designed to absorb what they need from the food that we eat. Lest we forget our primary source of vitamins and minerals, I'm opting to spend less time starting at the bottles in the drug store and more time staring at the fruits and vegetables at the grocery store. And rather than researching the amounts of nutrients in 3 different types of lettuce, I'll keep to the rule that keeps it simple for all of us:

Eat foods of different colour.

How about giving a gift of safety this Valentine's Day?

It's true that the chocolate and flower industries have the corner on Valentine's Day but this Monday how about giving a zero calorie, long lasting gift of safety instead?

No generation gap

Sound unromantic?

I suppose it does. But don't blame me for suggesting it, I'm just applying to Valentine's Day what I see in my business all year long. Need proof? Well, I have a ton of grandparents buying my Child Harness for them to use with their grandchild. Or they have me send the harness directly to the child's parents because they know their little grandkid is tearing up the streets and wearing down Mom and Dad. Then there's all the case workers who pay for a Child-to-Adult Harness for a child with special needs. This gift of safety is inevitably a life-changer for the whole family.

I can attest to the fact that there is a lot of giving going on all the time, not just on Valentine's Day. So if you're wondering what to do on the 14th, ask yourself this: how badly can you screw up if you give a gift that won't cause a complexion disaster, wide hips, or hyperglycemia and might actually be used every day of the year to keep someone you love safe?

Now that's what I call a gift from the heart.

Waiting

It's exhausting.
Waiting for news.
Any news.
Good news or bad news, just tell us something.
Help us cope with waiting.

We worry while waiting.
Will everything be ok?
What about pain?
Will there be blood?

Blood. We hope there won't be any. That would be wonderful. No blood and manageable pain. Dare we hope for such perfect conditions.

Time has stopped. Can that be possible? The clock says No. But there's no news. Nothing different, nothing that we haven't heard before. So time must have stopped. Wait until tomorrow to hear news. But I want good news now. I want news that everything has turned out fine. That everyone is ok. That there's been no blood. That it's been a great start to a new beginning.

But we haven't heard that yet.

And so we wait.

For the birth of democracy in Egypt.